Have you ever heard the phrase “Hurt people hurt people”? I have and it is SO TRUE. When we look at who is causing serious damage in our lives, it’s often people with deep, unhealed wounds, and they are like bulls in a china closet, smashing into other people and causing havoc and creating more injuries. I often wish these poor suffering people, causing even more suffering, would get help! ARGGG!!! But, we have all probably (hopefully) learned along the way that the only one we can control is ourselves. It’s true. (More about boundaries and how we can protect ourselves from these people later).
So… our responsibility is to make sure WE aren’t the ones smashing all the teacups. We need to make sure we are healed (there is no way to avoid injury- but we can all get healing from our own wounds) And here is the cool part, our healing can help others heal. What if this was the new phrase? “Healed people heal people”! Don’t you love that?!! I do! Instead of “Hurt people hurt people” it becomes “Healed people heal people” I believe it’s true on so many levels.
When I am healed I know the process I went through to get there and can gently guide others to things that helped me heal. But it is so much richer than that. When I have healed, I can love those in the struggle with a deeper unconditional love because I am so grateful for my healing and so hopeful for them. I KNOW it works. I KNOW the peace that is on the road to healing. They can trust me too. My hope is contagious and my love, understanding and empathy for those who are hurting can actually be a healing balm for them! Healing is even more contagious than wounds are. That’s why we find those who have overcome huge trials so inspiring and attractive to our souls! I LOVE READING about people like this. One who inspired me during a dark time was Donny Osmond. He doesn’t even know it! Haha! But I experienced five dark days of massive fear, anxiety, confusion, and almost terror in Jan. of 2016. It was a reaction to years of abuse and being told that I was crazy (gaslighting- it's real and insidious). I was experiencing an onslaught of darkness from somewhere outside of myself that I couldn’t explain at the time and I so afraid that it meant that my ex-husband was right! I was crazy after all! This thought led to even more fear, more confused feelings of craziness, which validated his argument even more. It was a vicious cycle and beyond awful.
After about four days of my mind and soul feeling like they were being consumed with fire, for some reason (I think it was my truthteller) I started thinking about Donny Osmond and how he suffered from panic attacks. I had heard it somewhere and was so blown away by it! He always seemed to professional and calm, cool and INCREDIBLE on stage! I have seen his performance of Joseph in Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat about a million times. My kids and I have every word from every song memorized. I imagined him having a panic attack right before coming on stage to sing one of my FAVORITE SONGS, Close Every Door to Me, and how HE WENT ON STAGE AND DID IT ANYWAYS… over and over and over again- he still performs live today! I’ll never forget playing that song for myself in the bathroom as I did my hair that morning and watching him on my phone be so brave, so talented and inspiring...hearing the incredible message of bravery in the song and realizing that if he could do that, I could survive this.
After getting ready that morning, I went outside and sat in the sun and STARTED FEELING BETTER FOR THE FIRST TIME in almost a week. I felt safe and warm and a tiny bit strong. Quickly, before I lost my nerve, I made a video (in which I sounded slow and exhausted) to advertise—for the very first time—my "WHAT NOW" class, that Camille and I were unveiling that month! I FELT SO BRAVE! I was so brave. I owe a lot of that to Donny (who I have adored since I was a child belting out Donny and Marie’s songs in my basement “Make the world go away. Take it off of my shoulders…”)!
Because he was brave in the midst of his struggles, he helped me. How strange that someone who I have never met, (sadly) and who has never met me, helped me overcome the darkest, most frightening 5 days of my life. I’ve never even heard him speak of his struggles, I had only heard from someone that he had them. His spirit, THE SPIRIT and that music pulled me up from the darkness. I will never forget the contrast from how I had been feeling and how I felt later that day.
I also called a dear friend of mine, Jennie, who suffered from panic attacks for years but had them under control- or knew how to handle them. Even though that was not exactly what was happening, she gave me very good, practical advice on how to calm my mind and focus on other things (go on a run, do a sudoku puzzle etc.) and also encouraged me that I could and would feel better soon! That conversation was so hopeful and helpful in concrete ways! Her healing was my healing that day. Thank God for Jennie and Donny!
I hope this inspires you to keep on track with all that we are doing in this challenge. Having a healthy body, mind and soul feels sooo good and is contagious. We do it for ourselves and we do it for others. Think of people you know who have major relationship struggles or have been divorced. I’d bet that one or both of those people have massive unhealed wounds, that if they were truly, entirely addressed, could have saved the relationship. Why not start with ourselves and why not now? You have no idea who you might help heal without even knowing it!!
Let’s also talk for a quick minute about how healing also helps us feel better every single day.
I had an interesting talk last night with a friend of mine who is feeling deep hurt from her sister. We were investigating the idea that not only is this present situation with her sister heartbreaking, but it digs up old wounds and makes them ache too. So, are those old wounds also aching a little on a regular basis and she just thinks that is “normal”? What if she digs deep and works out those shoved down emotions, unravels the stories (lies) that she has developed around those past hurtful situations? Would that not only make this current situation less painful but also just make every day a little better? Dealing with these stories could be as simple as talking them through with a friend, her truthteller, a therapist or even just journaling about them. She could do some cool-headed investigating to see where her thinking has gone awry and where the lies got in? And when she discovers the truth she can live with much more peace every day and less potential triggering from new situations that arise as well! Where are some pockets of infection in your soul that need some cleaning out? Are these making good days a little duller and hard days much worse? Are your wounds hurting others too? Maybe your healing will be contagious instead!! Think of applying some of the new healing techniques from this week’s challenge to look to these old wounds and to start healing ourselves and spread that healing to others!
Camille Smith is offering a special FREE Yoga class next Wednesday morning focused specifically on healing from TRAUMA!! She has been studying this a lot lately and has something special planned! I hope you all can join us! SIGN UP FREE HERE!
Thank you, Camille! Let's all be healing warriors!
LOVE YOU ALL! HAPPY HEALING!!
